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Hey, so concussion missiles are pretty great, you guys. Also, everyone that we care about survived. But now there are decisions to be made. What to do about the refugees and the servitors and the forge that might be sentient...what to do. One thing I do know, this party can only make the best decisions, especially where dangerous technology is concerned. Especially then.
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Last time went just fine. The servitors are great. The old guy with the force pike is also great. The dark forces in the planet are great, too. And frankly cyborg-rancors are extra great because they're just so cool. At least, that's how I remember it. And frankly, when it comes to this job, my memory is the only memory that actually matters. And last I remember there was a cyborg-rancor and some decisions to be made. That's just great, too.
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So I had this great blurb for the episode. I was proud of it. It was witty. Then when I went to save it, it said, "Error! You are not signed in!" Awesome website, I'm glad you told me that after I'd finished using all the administrative tools that I accessed after actually signing in. Cool cool cool. So now I'm just using the blurb to complain. You'll get a good blurb next time. It'll be fine, I'm sure, after all, our last episode ended with, "Well, the Jedi Temple sent us into a trap! Screw them!" Nothing could go wrong with that.
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Well, stuff happens. Stuff with light swords. Stuff with old guys. Stuff with evil underground darknesses. Stuff with servitors. So much stuff, I can't even keep track of it anymore! It's that much stuff. And now--more stuff. Stuff with refugees. Stuff with Knights of Ren. Stuff with old men and light swords. Oh and maybe a faraday cage. Or a spaceship. They're totally the same, though. At least that's what I've heard. Onward!
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In our last episode, we ended on a cliffhanger because that's the best episode ending, really. An old man had just drawn a lightsaber on our party (surprise!), there was something about punching, everyone seemed to have forgotten that the mind-controlled servitors were a thing to maybe be terrified of (by forgot, I mostly mean didn't seem to be considering it appropriately terrifying), and some ancient evil down the stairs seems to have been awakened by the mere arrival of said danger-invoking party. This should be super great, you guys! Enjoy!
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The story is done. Now it is time for the footnotes. Then this volume will be placed on our shelf. Is there more to come? We hope so. But let's finish with this one first.
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Droids, hardcore training, lack of independent software, and also some dark side stuff--all these things and more are here for our "heroes" and you, their faithful fans! I know you thought you were getting a great deal with socio-economic disruption, probable genocide, sassy Y-wing flying, and environmental destruction for the low, low price of 33 podcast episodes. But get ready: this deal is better than you hoped! Now you can get secret lightsabers and dark, buried evil for just one episode more! This is a deal to great to pass up! Start listening now and take advantage of this bonus before things get screwed up forever!
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So the educational exchange program is going great, y'all. Totally fine. No problems. Everything's totally above-board and morally acceptable. Now it's time to find out some more about those Ren guys and gals. All in the name of knowledge, right? Right?
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And now...it's time...for the Jedi Educational Exchange program...now with servitor droids! This program is renown for it's top-of-the-line practice sabers, plebes who repress things, and challenges to both tact and morality! I'm sure our favorite group of exchangees will do just fine. Easy peasy. Yep. Absolutely fine. You'll see!
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Jungles, temples, punching, Knights of Ren, laser swords, and snarky comments. What is even going on around here? I'll be honest, I think it's mostly chaos, luck-driven chaos. If you don't believe me, you probably haven't been listening carefully enough. And now, once again, it is time to turn your ears to hear the story of how of heroes accidentally destroy things and still succeed--now with louder laser swords. Or something.
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The fact that we're alive is a miracle. If you could stay alive, that would be enough.
I can't pretend to know
The challenges you're facing
I know there's no replacing what we've lost
See you all next season. Thanks for everything.
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Last time, our fair not-quite Jedi grabbed in inter-dimensional hitch-hiker, handed a dangerous holocron to a vulnerable youth, grabbed some double doubles at the burger stop, and everybody died. Some of that is true. I think. But they are definitely not responsible for any prominent tangent Skywalkers going to the dark side. Not at all. And now, to discover what our fair group discovers as they enter a trap. That they know about. And do some things they will earn morality in spite of. This should be fun. Or something.
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The bowl is blood. This must be fixed. These adventurers are going with Quommians to fix it.
Not all is well in this journey, though. Something.... SOMETHING is off.
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Phase-shifting patients! Even more holocron! (It's always back to the holocron) All these questions! Who has a lightsaber again? Oh right, I wasn't even there! Better hang on, these phase-shifting lightsaber holocron patients are about to get dramatic!
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Our 'brave' ''adventurers'' head out into the desert in search of... something or another. It's not important. Money? Fame? Power? Glory? Eh. Whatever. Anyway here are some bugs. They LOVE necks
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We're a group of seven nerds, recording our sessions of various tabletop roleplaying games. Let us know if you'd like us to try out a new system.
“Etaoin”
Hi everybody! Do you like what we're putting out? Let us know!
This website was brutally hacked together via a series of botched CSS checks in the autumn of 2014, before the robot purges began.
Times were simpler then. Sure, not all the trains ran on time, but humans were mostly free to be idiots with relatively mild side effects.
Do you remember those heady days? Where the sun didn't scream angrily down at us from so, so terribly close?
Plant life instead of desolate wasteland.
Animals instead of ashes.
Friends instead of... anyways those days are gone. Let us remember happier times.
